Dear Dr. Love, Why Do Men Have Such Dirty Minds?

If a guy often laments that he is stressed while findings job, is it a sign that he’s unable to take stress or be a responsible man? If he is in a relationship but seldom asks her out, and when he does, it’s often late at night and quite often for sex. He is not a decent or good guy, right?

Firstly, about his ability to handle stress – If he talks about being stressed, it could be his way of relieving it. However, if he takes his stress to a negative level, complaining about life and finding faults in everything just to find himself an easy way out to not deal with it, I’m afraid that is a sign that he may have a habit of running away from his problems, and finding excuses for himself to avoid doing what is necessary or responsible.

Secondly, if this similar guy who complains all the time about being stressed while finding jobs, and yet only asks her out for sexual activities at night, it is a sign that he is not the one for you. It cannot be said that he is not decent, or he isn’t a good guy. He may be just looking for different things. While you are looking for a long-term and stable relationship, he is looking for companionship and having someone to be there for him. He is not looking for a relationship to grow together. This has a lot to do with how you have met this person.

Think about where you met this person, and how this relationship started. Often, toxic and destructive relationships start off badly – either one has outright declared that one isn’t sure of what one wants, or the relationship and intimacy started too quickly without getting to know each other better before making the decision that he’s the one you want. You want to make sure that you truly know this partner you’re entrusting yourself to, and it helps when you look in the right place. Places that offer you credibility – such as a close friend who knows him really well, and is sure of his character. The problem about friends introducing each other is that they may not truly know his or her background, or assume that that person is right for you.

The solution is to go to a trusted place, such as an accredited agency like GaiGai to find the right one for you. Reason being, prior to matching, all members are screened and verified through ROM screening as well as an in-person chat with our certified relationship managers. This would minimize insecurities such as truly knowing his background, and you can be assured that the match would at the very least, be within your preferences you have set for your ideal partner.

Why is it men have such dirty mindsets? Every men that I ever dated are the same, is there something wrong with me?

When you have met a man who is not worth your time and effort, the last thing you should feel is that everyone else is the same. Maybe it is your choice of men that is causing you to feel this way, or the way you respond to interest that gives a wrong impression. The factors and causes are endless, and it is ultimately based on where and how you have come to meet these men you are referring to.

Truth is all of us are human beings. It is only natural to have primal instincts, but only when it is appropriate. It is definitely nothing wrong with you as a person. Finding the source of the problem could help you in looking in the right place. Like mentioned in the first question, you may choose dating apps, or dating agencies to go to to extend your social network. Accredited dating agencies like GaiGai do verified screenings of individuals, and if you are looking for a committed and serious partner, the safest bet would be to approach an agency.

Lastly, signs do show early. Do not ignore them, and you won’t have to find yourself being stuck in a relationship that you have no confidence and assurance in.

Have a lovely weekend!

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