Dear Dr. Love, I’m Too Comfortable being Single

How do I prepare myself for a relationship when I have been single for so long? – Female reader

Being single for a period of time would mean you have adjusted to living alone and being within your comfort zone. Well, it can go two ways! Either you’ve been pretty laid back and comfortable with your routine everyday, or you are on the other end of the spectrum – continuously looking for exciting and new things to do.

If you belong to the latter category, it only means that you are looking for a partner who can be on par with you when it comes to adventures and weekend activities! You are constantly on a look-out for the one who shares the same interests and adrenaline rush! You will have no problems letting new people into your life as long as they share the same pace and attitude.

However, if you have been within your comfort zone for the longest time, you may find it difficult to open up and let other people into your life. It all starts from within. It is important to take baby steps and to first take things lightly. Often, people who aren’t the most comfortable to open up are people who will take the relationship very seriously. Don’t get me wrong, that is not a bad thing at all. However, it may influence and cloud your judgment when it comes to choosing the right one to open up to as you will be a lot more careful and analytic.

Truth is you will never know the true colours of a person until you have spent enough time being truthful and honest with each other about your feelings. Hence, the only way to prepare yourself for a relationship after being single, is to accept that your emotions and happiness will be dependent on someone else besides your own actions. You will be led to do things you may not be comfortable to do.

Ultimately, it is to let loose and allow yourself to experience all that comes with love! – Good and bad! xx

Should I go for guys who solve my problems, or guys I can help their lives with? – Female reader

Before we go into narrowing them down into 2 categories – first being one who helps you with your problems, and second being someone you would have to help to get their lives straightened out – let us remind ourselves that love is a two-way street, and it is heavily built on chemistry and connection.

If we could make a choice and selection so easily on the type of guys to fall in love with, everyone’s love lives would have been a smooth-sailing journey by now! As much as we can ask for what we think we deserve, we have to remain realistic and fair.

Some people find fulfilment in serving others, helping others with their problems, and they don’t mind being the ones sacrificing their time and effort for the ones they love. But there are also some who would rather be on the receiving end, to be helped and to be loved more than they give. Whether you’re the first or the latter, it is important to remember that what goes around comes around, even in love. No healthy relationships can be formed in a one-way cycle.

Best of luck, dear readers!

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