An Open Letter To Nosy Relatives This CNY!

Here’s is what we’ve always really want to say to all our busybody uncles and aunties when they bombard us with all these ridiculous questions during Chinese New Year!

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OUR RELATIONSHIP STATUS DOES NOT MATTER

We are perfectly fine if we are single. We do not need your pity or judgment. Perhaps we’ve just gotten out of a bad relationship, or we’ve been painfully single and struggle with it. Either way, we are still a person of value! Stop making us feel inadequate without someone else by our side, we should not be defined by our relationship status! Would you rather us stay in an abusive or unhappy relationship just to please you? Life is still worth living as a single person … also maybe it never occurred to you but we might actually be happy!

 

WE KNOW IF WE HAVE PUT ON WEIGHT. YOU DON’T HAVE TO POINT IT OUT

Each year everyone gets older, including you, but we don’t point all your flaws. SO why do you feel that you have the right to do the same to us? Are you so shameless? So what if we have put on weight, is it the end of the world for you now? It’s not like we down own mirrors, we’ve probably noticed it before you. Maybe we’ve struggled with eating disorders or self-esteem issues, but that doesn’t matter to you. We are not objects! Try spreading joy and compliments this year! If you have nothing nice to say, don’t say anything at all.

 

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WE WILL GET MARRIED WHEN WE CHOOSE TO, OR MAYBE NOT AT ALL

This might shock you, but not everyone’s ultimate life goal is marriage. Stop pressuring us. Many people marry the wrong person because of family pressures. Isn’t it better to settle down with the right person? Think twice before you even ask this question this year. Also since you are from a different generation, just keep in mind that marriage ages are rising. We don’t have to get married at 24 anymore.

 

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NOT EVERYONE WANTS TO HAVE CHILDREN OR CAN

The nagging is never ending, even married couples are not spared. A couple’s right should be respected, you never know what they are going through. Sometimes couples are actively trying to conceive and are going through fertility treatments. Don’t ask insensitive questions, keep these thoughts to yourself. I’m sure there was a time you faced these questions yourself. Think back to how they made you feel!

 

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WE REFUSE TO ALLOW LIFE TO BE A COMPETITION

Stop comparing us all! Some cousins/siblings/random strangers may have high flying careers, some may choose a less challenging lifestyle. That’s fine! We all only have one life, we should be able to do whatever makes us happy without your judgment. Stop pitting us against each other. This reunion, let us celebrate life and actually enjoy each other’s company.

 

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KEEP YOUR JUDGEMENT TO YOURSELF, WE DON’T JUDGE YOU EITHER!

Happy Chinese New Year!
-Paloma lin

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