Too nervous to date?

Hi Loveletters,

I’m writing to say that Im too nervous to date. I often cancel last minute on dates with lame excuses. I dont have a wide social circle , and i’ve lost touch with a lot of friends due to work . So i’ve turned to online dating to meet people. I’ve always been reserved and quiet, what do I do about the awkward moments on dates. But worse of all I don’t want to date anymore, its just too nerve-wrecking an experience .

-nervousboy85

scared nervous terrified ren and stimpy stimpy

Hi , I think what you are facing is a common problem. We tend to place too many expectations on the first date. I think we need to remember its perfectly normal to be a bit nervous, but you should not let it get in the way of having a good time and meeting new people.

Here are some tips to ease your nerves.

  • Plan a simple date ; do something simple and not overly complicated. Try a casual coffee or dinner date. Picnic in the parks or wall climbing can wait, complex plans that depend on the weather or trying new activities should be avoided on the first date.
  • Stop thinking too far ahead. Focus on the moment and don’t get caught up with fantasizing about the future with this person.
  • Be well rested the night before. Its best not to plan a date on a hectic week. Be sure you get proper rest the night before, you will also look more refreshed!
  • Plan your outfit a day ahead, this way there won’t be a last minute scramble to decide what to wear, or the dreaded “ I have nothing to wear feeling”
  • Awkward moments might happen , but that’s okay. Learn to be comfortable with silence.
  • Don’t pressurize yourself , this isn’t a test or exam .  If your date is right for you , he or she will like you even if you are nervous.
  • Give yourself a pep talk. Before you leave for your date remind yourself how awesome you are and that you date is lucky to be spending time with you and getting to know you

Hope this helps you overcome some of your dating anxiety.

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