I am psychic. No, really, I am. I can tell just by looking at you that you…spend a lot of time in the office. See? I told you. Oh wait…I’m getting something else…a sense of…Desperation. Ah…you’re desperate for love.
If you are anything like the Average worker who spends 26 hours a day working, you know the only way for you to get any loving is from one of your co-workers. But how does one get a colleague to fall in love in the midst of the typical workday schedule?
Hang around. A lot. Then disappear.
Studies have shown that the more positive interactions you have with someone, the more they like you. So if the Love of Your Life (LOYL) heads to the pantry for a coffee, go get some tea. If he needs to photocopy a stack of documents, so do you. He’s waiting at reception for a delivery? What a coincidence! But do not follow him to the toilet. That’s just creepy.
Let Them do Nice Things for You.
Being in love makes you want to do nice things: it makes you feel good about yourself and you also become extra attached to the recipient of your actions. On the other hand, being the recipient can be tricky. You could be appreciative and pleased but just as easily overwhelmed if your feelings towards that person are still unclear.
So resist the urge to bombard them. Instead, ask for easy favours. If you know he always brings a coffee back after lunch, ask if he could get an extra for you. He’s heading over to HR? Ask him to pass along a document. In return, always smile, be super grateful and remember that no one gets sick of knowing what a nice, helpful person they are.
The Path to Love Lies Within the Eyes.
Harvard psychologist Zick Rubin discovered that couples who are deeply in love look at each other 75% of the time when talking and are slower to look away when someone else intrudes. In contrast, people only look at each other 30-60% of the time in normal conversation.
So if you want to trick his brain into thinking that he’s in love, gaze soulfully into the eyes of the LOYL every opportunity you get. Take an extra second before you tear away your eyes even if your boss is yelling at you from his door. Unless it’s Bonus Month.
Practise Dilating your Pupils.
The ones in your eyes, that is. Do not attack your students if you are a teacher. Do not attack students even if you are not a teacher. According to pupillometrics (Yes, this is a real word. This is an educational website and that was your New Word of the Day.), the scientific study of pupils, people are wired to respond positively to enlarged pupils.
If you are attracted to someone, your pupils will already tend to enlarge but you can help by creating dim lighting. When the lights are out for a PowerPoint presentation, be sure you’re seated next to the LOYL and lean in for a whispered conversation.
Or just wear circle lenses like everyone else.
~ Li Ching (Who Stares Soulfully into her Phone)